| (no subject) |
[Nov. 23rd, 2009|11:22 pm] |
| [ | feeling like |
| |  amused | ] |
A long walk home, riddled with regret
Uncommonly comfortable, but still I believe
That in time I think I'll see just what's been weighing down on me
An unearthly void collapsed, exposing what was trapped
To release this serendipitous design
The smell of smoke
The evening sky was proof
Belated conversation
Saturate anticipation
For the answers that simply won't come
But not I, I won't ask
Forget my place amongst the grass
The leaves and the trees remember me
And in my naivety it might be seen
The pail has leaks and even if
You put all your water into it
You end up with nothing left to drink
The well has gone dry and I with it
Oh, someday she'll be gone
(We'll still have a song to sing) |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|10:50 am] |
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"Yes I know what you think of me, you never shut up." |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2009|02:32 pm] |
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I do belive that that is the end of that. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 16th, 2009|12:04 am] |
Not Happy.
I think that's not right. I think I'm just letting my brain poison itself with things that should be easily gotten over... That aren't even real, but I think about so much that I make them real. It's "the grass is always greener" and "sour grapes" and my big old ego all mixed up together. Eve didn't act like this. I'm going to stop acting like this. |
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| As slippery as your mind is... |
[Aug. 17th, 2009|05:09 pm] |
Ok guys, this is a very important question!
Is there, anywhere in this world, good (yes, GOOD!) Gone With The Wind fanfiction??? |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2009|11:01 am] |
| [ | feeling like |
| |  lonely | ] |
I wonder, how am I supposed to feel
When you're not here?
Cause I burned every bridge I ever built
When you were here.
I still try holding on to silly things
I never learn. |
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| Oh herro! |
[Aug. 4th, 2009|10:56 am] |
| [ | feeling like |
| | uncomfortable | ] |
I am not entirely sure if I am thrilled with my decisions, or more just thrilled that they are made. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2009|09:54 pm] |
• Post ten of any pictures currently on your hard drive that you think are self-expressive.
• NO CAPTIONS!!! It must be like we're speaking with images and we have to interpret your visual language just like we have to interpret your words.
• They must ALREADY be on your hard drive - no Googling or Flickr! They have to have been saved to your folders sometime in the past. They must be something you've saved there because it resonated with you for some reason.
• You do NOT have to answer any questions about any of your pictures if you don't want to. You can make them as mysterious as you like. Or you can explain them away as much as you like.
( So hard to pick just 10.. ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2009|11:30 pm] |
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It seems like such a petty little thing, but how am I supposed to be happy like this? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 23rd, 2009|03:47 pm] |
I love mixing my metaphors. My sister just walked in and asked me something and I replied: "Whatever floats your fancy!" I just think that sounds so much better than either "Whatever floats your boat!" or "Whatever suits your fancy!"
..................NAPTIME! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2009|09:24 am] |
Anybody want to interpret this dream for me? I have a variation of it pretty often, over a long long period of time.
I'm in my car, stopped. Then my car starts going, even though I have my foot on the brake, even though I keep bearing down on the pedal harder. It's just innnnnnnn...nnnn...nnn...nnn...ching along at such a slow rate that it's not at all scary or dangerous, it's just SO IRRITATING and I can't get the damn thing to stop.
Last night, though, it was a little different - there were big snowbanks on either side of the road (as there are all over the damn place now really) and the car started going a bit faster, so I tried to nudge the snowbanks to stop. I bounced off of them, spun a bit, until finally I plunged into one of them and stopped, my hood buckled up a bit. I was SO PISSED.
...yeah, I have really stupid and mundane dreams, but that one keeps coming back! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 4th, 2009|10:01 am] |
This drives me SO CRAZY. I go to school three days a week, I have clinical at the buttcrack of morning two days a week, I work at least three days a week, usually the whole weekend and a couple of weekdays, and on top of all that I have to read and study and write papers, and have some semblance of a social life. I drive Billy to work on whatever mornings I don't have to be somewhere. I sleep at Billy's house and generally spend mornings there, which I like but which isn't exactly the same as being alone in my own domain and vegging.
So when I come home, on the occasions that I have a morning/early afternoon off, I kind of just want to sit, catch up on internety things, watch a few TV shows, do a little reading.
Now, my mom does absolutely everything around the house, she vacuums, does laundry, cleans. We all appreciate this. But in essence, it's her JOB. She works one night a week, so isn't it fair to say that she's a homemaker?
I really don't think it's fair that when I come home, the instant I sit down on the couch, turn on the TV, take out the computer... she looks at me and gives me an indignant "What are YOU doing? How about doing SOMETHING?"
When I tell her, listen, I just want to sit for a bit, I have class soon, I worked last night... she goes, "You all really are cut from the same cloth!" meaning my dad, my brother, my sister, and me. Well! That makes some sense, considering my dad has gotten up at 6AM every weekday for the past 30 years, worked all day, and comes home after dark. My brother works full-time and goes to school, and I'd say Haley's middle school is a full-time job - not to mention she plays basketball, softball, guitar, is on a dance team, tutors, and is the water girl for the high school team which plays more nights than not.
I don't know, maybe I sound like a jerk, but I don't really think as I sit here writing this I should have to feel her eyes on me all accusatory because I want to sit for a while and she doesn't think I should. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 27th, 2009|12:05 pm] |
At school, I am the most anti-social person ALIVE.
I am sitting in the caf eating one of those "make your own salads" and I just ate a bite of broccoli which, upon chewing, had a very vague taste of mold. Like, enough that I would have spit it out had I been alone. But I had no napkin to spit it in, and chewed broccoli would probably be THE grossest thing to spit out anyway.
Anyway, I wanted to record this because, as I am eating alone, if I abruptly die tonight the story needs to be told. ...and someone needs to sue UMB of course! Moldy broccoli INDEED.
The food here is generally vile. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 24th, 2009|07:22 pm] |
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Watched Benny and Joon last night because Billy's Jack Sparrow obsession is leading him on to other Johnny Depp characters as well haha. I think he's now going to be Sam for Halloween. Perhaps I should be Benny. I really relate to Benny. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2009|06:49 pm] |
| [ | feeling like |
| |  bemused | ] |
So, I wrote the following four days after Valentines, three years ago.
I truly believe something had to have happened to me in a previous life for me to be so bitter, so young... and before I even was involved with anyone. I don't even have divorced parents. My parents LIKE each other... Definitely some past-life -ish going on here.
"It's very difficult to begin a relationship being sincere.
That's where all the lonely hearts come from, who wonder where their perfect mate is - they don't realize that you've got to trick people into liking you. They don't realize that sincerity drives potential significant others off before things can even begin.
Even in an already-begun relationship - there's a point where you can't fool each other any more and you've got to be sincere - and that's the point where most relationships end. The masks come off, and you're left with two people wondering when things changed. Nothing changed, guys and gals, except now you're telling the truth.
Sometimes, though, the coupled-off humans are very determined actors - regular marathon-runners - and that's when marriages happen. But even these steadfast soldiers eventually get tired of pretending, and that's where our divorce rate comes from.
Those few who are left still together? Well, some people just don't know how to be honest." |
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| LMAO |
[Jan. 16th, 2009|11:15 pm] |
Just now, I was looking for something in my gmail... so I searched for "ice cream" and I came up with this little tidbit from the FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR distant past (3/4/05)... and I found it EXCRUTIATINGLY AMUSING, so I will repost it here, for posterity. And because newsflashes of old things are pretty much the only times I use this LJ anymore. HERE!:
"Did you know that it's statistically proven that the more ice cream
you eat, the more likely you are to be a murderer? They've done
studies. And also, a significant portion of people who commit murders
go out for ice cream afterwards. I found that really interesting,
because I don't much care for ice cream." |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 26th, 2008|12:11 pm] |
| [ | existing in |
| | bathroom floor | ] |
| [ | listening to |
| | none cos I don't have it all on here yet... | ] |
So, I got this pretty new laptop for Christmas. It's super nice, and fast, and so far I didn't drop it down the stairs.
...but I really don't care. I would have thought I died and went to heaven a few years ago. Now... I mean, it's REALLY nice, don't get me wrong. But there were other things that I asked for this year that I didn't get, probably because I got this, which I didn't ask for :(
For example, I wanted an external hard drive, so that I could take all my old stuff and keep it somewhere safe. Or, a new Ipod to replace my poor departed baby :( I kind of sit here on this computer wondering what I should do with it! ...I suppose I can always play The Sims2....
Anyway, not saying it's not really really nice and all. I just don't really NEED it in this strange new life. It feels weird! |
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| A message in the old style. |
[Dec. 3rd, 2008|10:16 am] |
Watch you on the one's and two's
Through a window in a well lit room
Become a recluse
And I blame myself...
And when I wake up you're the first to call
One more late-night basement song
And I'm so sore
My voice has gone to hell
And this is one more sleepless night
Because we don't believe in filler baby
I kill myself because I'm so frustrated
And every time I leave you go and lock the door
So I walk myself picking at a chip on my shoulder
I'm another day late and one year older
And now my head hurts
And my health is a joke
Now I got to stop because the headphones broke
Do Do Do... Do Do Do...
(This is over when I say it's over.)
(I ignore it and it ignores me too.) |
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